


Conflicted and Addicted

by Val_Brown



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 00:46:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Brown/pseuds/Val_Brown
Summary: Stiles rolled over and groaned. He’d done the one thing he swore he wouldn’t. He knew that if he got up his bedmate would know and then they would have to talk about the thing between them that they both denied. So he did what he did best, ignored the elephant in the room and curled around his addiction.





	Conflicted and Addicted

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work since Oct. 2017. I've had the worst writers block I've ever had. I got this out in just a few hours. It's unbeta'd and if there are egregious errors or I have failed at grammar or plot please, gently let me know.

He knew this was a bad idea, they both did. It’s not like they didn’t try the dating thing. They did, they just were both pretty bad at it.

Stiles for as much as he talked, he didn’t like to talk about relationship things and Peter for all that he played unaffected, he was earnest about his feelings. It didn’t make for a good raw baseline for a healthy relationship. 

It started out with no strings an easy, open thing. They were nearly always left alone, either for research that the others couldn’t be bothered with or because they felt the need to protect Stiles from whatever monster of the week was attacking. Which to both Stiles and Peter was fairly amusing seeing as both of them were more dangerous solo, than whatever monster they were hunting, and together they were nigh on unstoppable.

It seemed an easy thing. They fell into bed together without a thought. It was simple, nearly inevitable if you asked Peter. However it wasn’t that simple to Stiles. He didn’t see things how Peter did, that certain things were inevitable. Stiles knew they had _a lot_ of sexual tension, he figured that they would fuck it out and that would be that.

What he didn’t expect was that it would be like a moth to a flame, and he was the flame. 

He had always fallen for the unattainable, he was used to it. He’d fall hard and either get crushed under the four inch heel of a gorgeous pair of Jimmy Choo’s or the solid sole of a pair of boots. Before fucking the tension away and realizing that you’re better as friends and things go back to normal. 

But this was different. He knew that people found him attractive, he wasn’t totally in the dark about himself. He finally grew into his baby fawn limbs and his once gangly body had broadened and he had packed on a fair bit of muscle. He had gotten used to the looks from men and women that wanted to fuck. It was a simple thing to smirk and get them into a hallway, room or against a wall. 

But Peter looked at him like he was a balm. The one drug that promised all the wonderful things you could never get from anything else. Stiles was no one’s salvation. He was the thing that would draw you into the darkness.

You would think that Peter would be the darkness, that after everything he did, he would be the one that would be wicked. But he wasn’t. He was the light in the darkness. It was strange. Stiles watched his interactions, one would think that after killing Laura, Peter and Derek would be at odds; that Derek would want nothing to do with Peter. But it’s the opposite, Derek turns to Peter for advice, guidance and a shoulder to lean on. The rest of the pack follows, it took time for them to get to a place where they could trust him, but once he earned their trust he reveled in it. It was like watching a flower find the sun after a winter of darkness.

Stiles knew, from all the sessions with his therapist, that if he would allow it, he too could have that with his Pack. It was a matter of allowing himself to have it. His therapist told him that if he didn’t allow himself any happiness he would end up burning out, his Spark would implode and take him with it. He was honestly trying, he was even able to be in the same room as Allison now without having a panic attack. He couldn’t stop the drowning feeling that would grip him when the guilt crested, but he was more or less able to keep his head above it. 

The thing with Peter happened as Stiles had expected it would. They were left alone as the Pack went after a clamor of Harpies. Stiles had warned them that the only way to kill them was to exhaust them. Once they were exhausted to the point of landing they would be easy to kill, a simple bullet or claw to the throat. 

After the Pack left, Stiles and Peter were left alone, as per usual. Normally they would order dinner and watch some mind numbing show on Netflix. The night started as many others had. They ordered dinner and Peter queued up Frontier. They were barely into the third episode when Stiles found himself with Peter straddling his lap and both of his hands buried in Peter’s hair dragging his head back to bite across his neck.

It was the first of many nights where Stiles would come over for dinner and end up flat on his back with Peter riding his cock like his life depended on his ability to make Stiles come as hard as he could.

They never talked about it. It became part of their night. Dinner, Netfilx and fuck. 

It was easy. No strings.

And then Stiles started feeling.

He hadn’t really felt since before he was Void. He felt physically, sure. But actual emotions, more than the love he had for his father, he didn’t have any. He knew what empathy was, he knew that before he felt emotion deeply. But after, he was. Void. There was nothing there where there used to be an abundance of feelings. 

He’s used to there being nothing there. He knows that he has affection for Peter, but he doesn’t _feel_ it.

Until one morning he wakes up and there is a warmth in his chest he hasn’t felt in over three years. He can feel the threads of his Pack bonds again. He can feel them all. He takes a deep breath, he will not freak out. He won’t. He didn’t realize how much he missed feeling them. Reveling in the knowledge that they are all still there and they aren’t gone forever like he was so sure of for so long. But as he feels along the threads, he notices one that is stronger than the others. It’s thicker than the rest, more solid. 

He knows that it’s his bond to Peter. That over the last year or so it’s grown and become more than a Pack bond. Stiles knows that he can’t give Peter what he needs. That Peter for all of his mistakes and sins, deserves better. Yes, Stiles knows that Peter is more than capable of making his own decisions. But in this case, Stiles just knows that he needs to be the one to make the decision, because Peter would let himself be drawn into the darkness again, just because Stiles was leading the way. 

The flame to Peter’s moth.

Stiles slides a hand over his face. Now that he thinks about it, it sounds so douchey. That he thinks he so irresistible that he can make a man do anything he wants. He knows that he needs to end this before Peter gets more invested, before _he_ gets to invested.

~

It’s a normal night at Peter’s when they get the call that the Nereid that the Pack was trying to get to move out of the pond in the preserve was not wanting to leave. So they cut their night short to go help out.

They barely get to the water when she narrows in on Peter.

She slinks out of the water, the seaweed draped over her like couture, glimpses of pale blue skin as it parts against her. She glides across the ground one hand out, reaching for Peter, a gold thread slithering out of her fingers toward him. It reaches Peter and digs itself into his chest.

Stiles watches slightly confused, Nereids don’t usually act like this, this is more of something a Succubus would do.

That’s when it hits him. He and Peter had read about this ability. She’s not a Nereid, she a Succubus and she’s hungry. Succubus can shift to a shape that is non threatening. To her a lost Nereid was safe and unassuming. All she needed was someone that she deemed tasty enough to get close enough.

Succubus liked to feed on those in love. There was more pleasure in taking the life force of someone deeply in love with another person. Especially if the bond was strong. They wouldn’t have to feed for a long while after.

He darts forward between the Succubus and Peter, throwing a handful of mountain ash at her at the same time. He can see Peter’s eyes glazed, Stiles grabs Peter’s face as the Pack deal with the Succubus. He whispers Peter’s name, rubbing his thumbs over Peter’s cheekbones, trying to draw him back.

It takes nearly ten minutes, but finally Peter blinks at him and brings his own hands up to grip Stiles’ wrists and smiles.

That’s it, Stiles’ undoing.

Stiles leans his forehead against Peter’s and breathes out. He drops a hand to Peter’s chest and rubs a hand over his heart, he can feel it beating steady. He closes his eyes and can feel a tear slip out.

~

It’s been a week since the Succubus. A week that Stiles has battled himself. He felt more in that one night than he had in the previous three years. Since Void was forcibly ejected from him he hadn’t felt anything and suddenly he’s got three years of emotions running through him like a midnight bullet train.

He cried.

He looked at his phone as it lit up with another text from Peter. He knew that he needed to talk to him about what happened, but he didn’t even know how to deal with it himself let alone how to explain it to someone else.

He grabbed his phone and headed out to Peter’s, he needed to deal with this. He knew what he had to do.

He just didn’t know if he could handle Peter hating him.

~

Stiles didn’t expect his night to end this way. He came over with one goal in mind. That goal went out the window the minute he looked into Peter’s eyes. He knew in his heart that he could never end this. That this was everything he never knew he needed. 

He was always so focused on Peter and his healing that he missed his own. The sudden appearance of his Pack bonds wasn’t as sudden as he thought. They had been slowly breaking through the more he had allowed himself to be around the Pack. 

He still couldn’t vocalize it. He knew, Peter knew. Right now that was enough. 

Turns out he wasn’t the flame. He was the moth.

The elephant in the room wasn’t important, it could sit in the corner until he was ready to talk about it.

Most of the time you want to kick an addiction. If Peter was an addiction, Stiles never wanted to be rid of him.

The sweetest addiction he had ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know it seems choppy and strange, that's how Stiles is thinking and remembering.


End file.
